Welcome to the Jungle
by Remedy for Chaos
Summary: M!Hawke/Carver. Multi-Series consistent of one, two, and three-shots dedicated to Carver and Hawke's turbulent and oftentimes harmful relationship, if you'd call it as such. Ratings will range from K to M.
1. Welcome to the Jungle

Welcome to the Jungle

Author's Notes: I've decided to just condense all of my Carver/M!Hawke stories into one place. The two (three? XD) one-shots I already have up will be staying in their place, but this is for all future one, two, and occasional three-shots. I will finish my stories soon, promise. ): I almost finished Kiss and Brother needs a bit more delightful touches (and needs to be read over for errors) before I post it. (:

Warning: Ratings depend on the content of the drabble. Overall rating will be M, but the current drabble's rating will be explicitly stated in the beginning of the drabble. Savvy?

Rating: M

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><p>Carver groaned, moving his hand from the gaping wound on his stomach and seeing his palm stained scarlet with his blood. He continued to stagger towards the forest exit, trying to get back to the fortress of Ostagar. Mentally he cursed himself for being so stupid for wandering out on patrol on his own. Thankfully the Darkspawn that had jumped him were very few in number but he knew that he had to make it to safety while he had the chance or else more would come.<p>

And judging by the woozy feeling that washed over him he would not last through another battle.

The warrior inhaled deeply, trying to swallow the sick feeling rising in the pit of his stomach as his anxieties reached their boiling point and his mortality facing him dead-on. His whole body was on high alert, waiting for any sound or smell of Darkspawn, his skin cold and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. On his left he heard the bushed rustle and in his delirium he yelled and fell over onto his side. Despite his want not to he felt tears stinging at his eyes. He didn't want to die!

Suddenly a familiar and very welcomed sight jumped through the bushes, sword and shield in hand. For a moment Carver thought his brother looked like a hero from the tales, and nearly said as such but was ill to find he choked on his own words. Hawke's golden eyes widened and he tossed aside his weapons, running to the side of his injured brother. Faintly Carver could hear the man curse as he helped him get to his feet, his savior grabbing his hand and draping it over his back to help steady them both. "Carver, thank the Maker you're even alive! Why did you go running off like that?"

Hawke continued to scold him for being so silly but Carver finally managed to find his voice. "Your weapon, you can't leave it back there." He chocked out.

"I don't care, I need to get you to safety." Hawke growled, pulling his younger brother along for what seemed like ages until they came to a cave. Hawke let Carver go and the injured warrior limped inside, sighing in relief when he noticed the bag of supplies.

The elder eased the younger to lay down as he undid the buttons of his brother's shirt with one hand while the other shifted through the supply back and brought out a healing salve and bandages. Without prompting Carver grabbed the potion and drank it down in one swallow, feeling the pain ebbing away almost instantly. Above him he heard Hawke chuckle as he helped the younger sit up to better wrap his wound to stop the bleeding. "Thankfully it isn't deep. Fuck I was so worried, I was out there looking for nearly an hour! I thought you had died. I would never have forgiven you if I came across your corpse."

The younger frowned, hearing the angst in his brother's voice. "I'm sorry brother. I shouldn't have left the group, but I'm an idiot."

"Yes you are." Hawke agreed in a hiss. "The Wilds are a dangerous place, especially on your own! Carver…" He gave a distant sigh, his hand gently petting Carver's dark locks. Normally Carver would object to the affectionate petting, but at this moment it was probably the singular most amazing feeling in the world. "If I had lost you out here I would…"

"What would you do?" Carver found himself asking as he resting he head on his brother's chest, wanting nothing more than to feel a familiar touch.

"I think I would die too." Hawke finally admitted in a gentle hush, his strong arms embracing his brother's battered body and burying his face in the matted and sweat-drenched hair.

"You don't mean that." Carver laughed, slowly allowing his arms to wrap around his brother's broad chest, meshing against him until they were comfortably holding one another. Carver hated to think it, but they were cuddling. Even worse was how good it felt. His brush with death scared him more than he had thought.

"I do Carver. I'm in love with you."

They way he said it was so calm, so serious that for a moment Carver thought his ears had deceived him somehow. Rarely was Hawke ever so serious, he was always joking. To the point where Carver could honestly say he hated his brother care-free attitude, but without even looking at his brother he knew that what was spoken was an untainted truth. "Familial love, right?" He asked in a shaky whisper.

"No, _love_ love." Hawke replied.

Carver moved away from his brother, who didn't look surprised by the abrupt change of heart but looks hurt nonetheless. For a moment the younger couldn't find his voice, but finally he managed to sputter out. "but why?"

The elder frowned, looking somewhat confused by the question. "Why what?"

"Why do you love me?" Carver snapped angrily. "I'm awful to you! I never listen to you, and when I do I complain the whole bloody time! Why are you springing this on me now? Why?" Finally he broke down and cried, falling back into his brother's arms and he wept.

Hawke cursed his stupidity, trying his best to soothe the boy whilst simultaneously apologizing for his unexpected confession. "It'll be ok Carver, we can forget I ever said anything!"

The younger looked up and eyed his brother, his eyes puffy and red and pathetic. Worst of all was he knew how pathetic he looked, knowing it only made him look worse for wear. "You're an idiot." He chided before he pressed their lips together.

For a moment Hawke was unsure of how to react. It was completely possible that Carver was still high on adrenaline after nearly dying, and he was channeling those feelings to more licentious activities. Could he really take advantage of his brother like that? He felt the younger gently nibble his lower lip, goading for _some_ reaction. Finally Hawke just thought _to the Void with it _and let his body relax into the kiss.

Their kiss became far more heated than Carver had planned, yet he felt no need to stop it as he felt Hawke's hands on his hips, slowly inching to his belt. He pulled away and gasped as the man undid it his belt with a simple movement. Momentarily Hawke was stunned and was about to apologize, figuring that Carver finally realized what was happening and didn't like it. Instead he was shocked to find the younger clawing at his armor and murmuring something about needing to take it off.

Amused and amazed they started to undress, occasionally stealing kisses and touches. Carver was first to completely undress with the exception of his bandages, felling completely exposed and more than a little embarrassed at the fact. Even more-so when he noticed the look on his brother's face. Hungry, passionate adoration. Never had Carver thought he would garner such a look from anyone, much less his brother. The elder sat up a bit straighter as he admired the beautiful spectacle, his hands no longer busying themselves with removing his greaves. "Maker you're perfect." He purred huskily.

Carver visibly twitched from the comment, his cheeks flushed. He found himself unable to actually speak, but figured actions spoke louder than words as he knelt before his brother and helped him take off the heavy armor. The affair up till that point had been silent and somewhat awkward, though once both Hawke and Carver were completely stripped of their worldly clothes, things seemed to ignite once more. Their bodies screamed for the other's touch and while it was a strange sensation for them both at first, it quickly became something akin to a drug.

Their lips touched in passionate kisses, both daring to feel and explore one another's bodies. They felt their aching cocks touch and rub against each other but chose to ignore it as their tongues battled for dominance. They both knew who would be the victor, yet Carver did not want it to be for lack of trying. Slowly Carver began to cave, feeling his brother dominating him emotionally, spiritually, and soon physically. He felt his brother urging him to lay on the ground, which he did, both taking great care to not allow their lips to pull away sans for breath.

Gently Hawke tore his lips from Carver's, the younger giving a soft whine. Hawke hushed him sweetly, placing soft nibbles on the younger's neck. He moved his hands downward, grabbed both the younger's thighs, and carefully arranging them to wrap around his waist. Carver felt as though there were butterflies in his stomach as Hawke moved once again, this time placing both his hands on either side of the younger's head to prop himself up. Sapphire eyes met golden as they both mentally prepared for what was about to happen.

Thanks to the potion earlier the feeling of him being stretch and invaded hadn't felt nearly as excruciating as he had expected, and that seemed to please Hawke as they worked to give Hawke complete access. Completely sheathed inside his brother he felt a groan escape his lips followed by a slew of curses. "Tighter than I expected." He gasped out, his hips starting their slow, even strokes in and out of the tight, virgin hole.

Carver purred his approval and arched his back in pleasure. "Harder." He demanded, closing his eyes and giving a whine. He needed it harder. Needed his brother to dominate him completely and wholly. Hawke understood the request and obeyed it faithfully, moving his hips into the younger harder, faster. The moans he earned with each dutiful thrust grew louder and louder until the young was screaming the elder's name. "Garrett, oh Garrett!" Carver cried with fervor, his body shivering with passion. Hawke wanted to commit the sight and sounds to memory forever.

Their bodies held out for only seconds more before their bodies both reached their peaks, Carver's desire coating between their hot, sweaty, sexed bodies while Hawke's claimed Carver deep inside, forever claiming the younger as "his" and only "his". Faintly Hawke let Carver's name slip from his lips as he reveled in the afterglow of their mating, kissing the ravished man's neck and jaw line in near-worship. "My sweet, sweet Carver. Rest for a spell. I will keep you safe." He whispered. "I will always keep you safe."

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><p>Too bad he doesn't! What, too soon?<br>Anyways, comment, flame, whatever.


	2. I Stand Alone

I Stand Alone

A/N: I was watching Quest for Camelot the other day. (:

Rating: K+

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><p>"You sure you can handle that sword son? It's almost as big as you are!"<p>

"I'm fine dad, I'm twelve now! I can handle it, it isn't that big!" The boy protested, picking up his sword and swinging it. The man jumped out of the way and chuckled, a little uneasily.

"Okay Carver, just be a bit careful. And don't chase your sister around with it!"

The boy giggled, a little too darkly for his father's tastes, before running off, the sword dragged along behind him. "Are you sure you should have gotten that for him darling? It seems a little dangerous." A woman beside him asked, a small frown on her face.

"To be honest, I thought he was taller when I bought it Leandra." The man laughed.

Carver was now outside, twirling around with his new sword. It was an beautiful yet simple piece of work, the blade was sharp and fine, a beautiful design etched into the top grade steel. The pommel had a single sapphire the size of his thumb nestled in the side. It made the young boy smile, it was almost as pretty as his eyes! It was a conceited thought, but the boy had every reason to be a bit conceited today - he got his first _real_ sword.

It _was _just a shy shorter than he was, and it was quite a bit heavy, but it was real and that was all that mattered to the boy. In his excitement the boy picked the sword up over his head and… fell flat on his back, quite painfully, yet the boy was still reeling with happiness.

"I can't believe Father actually gave that thing to you." A haughty voice huffed from Carver's right. "I told him it was far too big for you. Now look where you are? On your back." Carver turned his head and his face immediately fell. His older brother Garrett Hawke. Mage and Jerk extraordinaire. His brother stepped closer until he was hovering over Carver, a catty smirk on his face. "You look good on your back." The comment was soft and Carver barely heard it.

Hawke offered his hand for Carver to take, and despite his better judgment he smacked the man's hand away. "No! I can do it all by myself!" He scoffed, letting his sword go only momentarily in order to sit up and get back on his feet. Hawke snorted, rolling his brilliant golden eyes, muttering something under his breath. After he picked his sword back up he puffed out his chest in victory. "See? I can stand on my own."

Again Hawke snorted, twirling the simple wooden staff in his hand before using it to gently smack his little brother over the head. "You're such an idiot." He reprimanded with a low sigh. "Whatever." He added with a nonchalant shrug, doing an about-face and heading back towards the direction he came.

Carver gawked for a moment before his anger boiled. He wasn't an idiot! He picked up his sword and managed to balance it enough to point it towards his brother, screaming something quite unintelligible at the older. Still it got Hawke's attention and he turned to look at his young brother with a raised brow. "Carver, you can't even swing that thing without ending up on your back. Don't even both trying to fight me."

The warning went in one ear and out the other and the boy pulled the sword back, ready to swing. Hawke responded with a sigh, readying himself to evade. The boy swung and right when Carver thought his blow would connect the mage jumped back before hitting Carver in the head with his staff with a soft crack. The blow only caused Carver to get even more angry and once more he attempted to throw another attack.

Again Hawke reacted, jumping back and his left arm glowing precariously with the too-well-known glow of magic. Carver blanched and tried to hide behind his sword as his brother threw a fireball directly at the young boy. Once the danger had passed, both not singed, Carver looked out from behind his sword with a pout. "No fair! No magic!"

Hawke gave a lazy smirk, leaning against his staff in a taunting manner. "I'll use magic all I want." He cooed in such a non-threatening way that it only made Carver even more annoyed.

The young boy grunted, pursing his lips in annoyance. "One day I will beat you, even with your magic." He promised, moving his sword to his side. "And I will single-handedly protect Bethany, Mother, and Father!"

"So be it little brother." Hawke sighed with a shrug. Another lazy smirk tugged at his lips as he closed the gap between his little brother and himself. "Though I promise I will always be close by if you ever decide you don't want to stand by yourself, or whatever it is you're ranting about." He vowed before stunning Carver by pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. It lasted only seconds, but to the younger it felt like minutes. His brother pulled away, still looking calm and collected while he was standing there, heart beating painfully in his chest.

Carver finally snapped from his stupor and growled. "Get out of here!" He growled. Hawke cackled, quite manically in Carver's opinion, before running away, calling to Carver "I'll see you later little brother."

The boy huffed, gripping the hilt of his sword until his knuckles turned white. "I'll get better than you someday brother, just you watch."

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><p>Just something cute, since I am capable of something other than sex. ):<br>Comment, flame, whatever.


	3. Passion

Passion

Author's Note: I was (once again) attempting to teach my nephew to play a few simple notes on the piano. Failed miserably but my brother came by and noted that I play well despite never having had formal lessons and that our nephew would learn eventually. How unhelpful! Well, it inspired this so it wasn't a total loss.

Slightly AU, if only slightly.

Rated: T

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><p>The soft notes he elicited from the piano seem to make most swoon, but Carver in all his cynicisms never thought it was a positive thing. That and he preferred to play on his own, for himself. Since he was three his mother had taught him and Bethany, and even his older brother, to play the piano. It was a form of sophistication and expression of thought that their mother decided they ought to know, even if they constantly moved in their early years.<p>

To be frank, Carver enjoyed playing in those early years before they settled in Lothering. It was one of the few stagnant things in his life in those years of turmoil and heart-break. His father, older brother and twin sister were all mages; the main reason for their moving was because of their special talents. Though the mighty and terrible power was not what was on Carver's mind. Instead he allowed himself to go blank as his finger quickly and passionately stroked the ivory and ebony keys, his eyes closing as he allowed himself to be taken in to the lull of music.

"You have always played so beautifully." A voice came from behind the pianist resonated, low and soft in timber. Carver's hands stalled on a few keys, the notes played for a moment until they became softer, and softer until they died. Picking his hands up off the keys and turned on the bench to better look at his intruder. His older brother, Garrett Hawke. Known better as just Hawke, but the fellow Hawke brother found it hard to always call his brother by his last name. While it suited him quite nicely, it was his name too.

"Oh, brother." His cheeks turned a hue of pink before he turned back to the piano, cradling his hands and placing them gently in his laps as he stared at the keys. "I didn't think you were here. I apologize if I disturbed you."

"Always so shy." Hawke cooed in a teasing voice, walking to join his younger brother on the bench and sitting beside him. "At least when you play. Normally you're jumping down my throat over one thing or another. To be honest I much prefer that side of you." Absent-mindedly the older Hawke pressed down on a few keys with one hand, playing a ditty he and his brother both knew well. It was something of a children's song, the story about it far from cheery despite the notes used to play it.

Carver swallowed, mirroring Hawke's song on the lower end of the piano. "Yes well people tend to be a bit too loose with their praise whenever I play. I don't like it, especially since they never mean it."

Hawke let out a chuckle, stopping his playing to take Carver's hand, also stopping his playing, and squeezed it gently. Because of Carver's natural ability with swordsmanship his hands were slightly bigger, and Hawke would wager they were far more callous but that did little to deter him. He enjoyed Carver's hands. They were quite skillful despite Carver's sullied opinion of himself. "Hardly. You really do play beautifully. You were blessed with the ability to play, you should be thankful."

About to object anything of the sort he was surprised by his brother's hand moving to grab the free one still on his lap and placed it on the keys. "Play me something. Just for me."

"W-what do you want to hear?" Carver found himself asking, giving his older a sidelong look as he readied himself to play. He wanted to please his older brother, a rare and even scary occurrence. Still the younger couldn't find himself the ability to say "no".

"That one by Eorick Felchoin[1] I like so much, the one he made in 22:Exhalted?"

Carver again found his embarrassment flush on his cheeks. Yes he knew the one his brother was speaking about, it was also one of his personal favorites to play. He nodded his head slightly before he began - the beginning was slow and yet extremely powerful. Deep. As he played both the boys could feel the profound emotion it evoked as he played. Felchoin was known for his powerfully emotional works solely for the piano. Beside him Carver could faintly make out his brother relaxing and the weight the older placed on his side was more comforting and welcomed than an inconvenience. As the sonata reached its forte it carefully and perfectly slowed down until the final notes of the piece played.

The younger breathed out a sigh, finding himself resting his head against Hawke's. It was a tender moment between brothers, nothing more. No matter how many times Carver told himself that it just didn't seem to fit. Still he knew things were getting far too weird to be a tender family moment and he picked his head up, scooting a bit away from his brother. He cleared his throat, resting his hands on his lap once more. "I don't know why you had me play that. I know you can play it just fine."

Hawke pursed his lips in a pout - though he steadfastly would decline it as such - straightening himself up in spite of his want to just rest against his younger. "I can, but I don't play it like you do. I - well it would be better to just show you I suppose." He scoffed with a roll of his eyes. "Switch sides with me." Hawke turned around on the bench and got up. Unable to reject the demand the younger just shrugged and scooted over to the opposite side. Hawke sat where Carver was moments ago and sat up straight, posing his fingers over the keys and playing.

While Hawke played, Carver listened. It was wonderfully and precisely played, but even he had to admit it was missing something. A certain something that Carver couldn't put his finger on. It was missing… "Passion." Hawke interjected, his voice cutting through Carver's thoughts. "I lack passion."

Carver looked over to see his brother, who turned to better look at his eyes. Those golden eyes were surprisingly rueful, perhaps even longing. "No, you don't." Carver tried to reason. "You're just too precise in everything you do."

The elder laughed, throwing an arm over his brother's shoulder and pulling him in closer. "Perhaps I am." He agreed. "Though I suppose it is only the expected outcome. I am a mage, and precision is all you can do. Unless you want singed brows."

Distractedly the younger touched his brow, smoothing the hair down. "Yes I quite like my eyebrows." He admitted.

Again the elder laughed, a smile tugging at his lips as he wrapped his other arm around the boy's waist. "Perhaps you could play another song for me? By Felchoin, of course. You play every work beautifully, but I especially like the way you play his pieces. You smile when you do."

Carver felt his head buzz pleasantly from the comments, again wanting to do whatever possible to make his brother happy. Still his more cynical side took hold and he once more scooted away, pulling from his older brother's grasp. "Perhaps later, brother. I think I need a break."

"Very well little brother, I'll hold you to that." Hawke sighed, getting to his feet once again and placing a hand on the younger's head. "Thank you for the wonderful time little brother. Perhaps you could teach me to be a bit more passionate sometime, too."

Maybe it was Carver's twisted mind that translated it as such, or perhaps Hawke really did mean it like that, but the sexual innuendo in those words made the young warrior shudder. "Yes, I would like that." He murmured, a little more willingly and quickly than he would have wanted. Far too late to take it back.

"I'll hold you to that." The older echoed once more, running his hand through Carver's coal black locks tender manner. Without warning he leaned down and pressed his lips to Carver's cheek in a kiss. While Carver wanted to think it was the type of kiss Bethany would sometimes give the brothers when they did something nice for her the younger could feel the more carnal feeling behind it. Shivering he turned as Hawke pulled away, giving him a somewhat curious look. "Don't speak. Thank you again for allowing me a moment of your time."

As he left Carver bit back a smile, turning back to the piano. Suddenly he had the urge to play.

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><p>Comment, flame, whatever.<p>

[1] It's a play on Frederick Chopin. xD I was feeling a little lazy.


	4. Fun with Dick and Jane

Fun with Dick and 'Jane

Author's Note: Yes, LOL at the title name. This one-shot is somewhat alternate universe. I dunno if the Dragon Age world has Mary Jane or not, but we're pretending it does!

Rating: M

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><p>Hawke and his brother rarely ever did anything remotely "bad", as a rule of thumb they were always far too busy to do anything other than eat, breath, work, and occasionally get in some training. It was to the point where even sleep was a luxury that was hard to enjoy. And yet after meeting Chandler, a son of one of the boys' numerous employers, that changed. If only slightly. Chandler was, well, a bit of a bad boy to put it lightly. He enjoyed pushing limits, he enjoyed talking dirty - he even went so far as to tell the boys' mother that she had a nice bod for an older woman.<p>

Something that made both Hawke and Carver blanch and make a quick exit, pulling the lusty devil out with them. Still one of Chandler's favorite past times was chilling out and smoking pot. It took the young man a lot of prodding and outright pushing before the two brothers decided to give it a go as well. According to Chandler, bad "trips" were a rarity and more often than not it was an enjoyable experience. Sans perhaps random 'bouts of paranoia.

Still that was how Hawke and Carver found themselves in their smoke-laden bedroom, the surprisingly pleasant smell lulling them both into a sense of security. Chandler gave a silly laugh as he laid back on the wooden floor, his hands behind his head. "You two are really hot when you're not all high-strung and working." He purred.

Both brother's looked over at Chandler before looking at each other and laughing. "You're fucking crazy Chandler." Carver snickered. "Damn I'm hungry."

Chandler sat up, a lazy smile on his face and a dangerous gleam in his eye. "I'm hungry too."

Hawke rose a brow at the man before snorting. "You're not talking about food are you?'

"Hell no! I'm talking about you two. Maybe it's because I'm high, but fuck it I'm horny." He said with a sigh, looking at Hawke with a pout. Hawke looked back at him and both turned to look at Carver whom suddenly paled.

"I'm not?" He squeaked with an unsure frown. "I just want food!"

Both the boys seemed to ignore Carver's protest as they crawled quite predatory towards Carver, who was much too fucked up to do anything other than yelp as Chandler jumped onto him and forcing the boy to lay on the floor. Chandler kept him pinned down while Hawke tore at the boy's clothing off; surprisingly Carver offered little resistance as he was stripped bare save some soft whimpers. Chandler got off the boy and pulled him up, instructing him to get on his knees. Carver heard and obeyed.

Once on his knees Chandler got on all fours and grabbed the flaccid cock into his mouth, giving an experimental suck. Carver gave a sharp inhale before giving a shuddering exhale. The dominating man smirked and grabbed the hardening member with one hand and continued to suck and slowly getting into a rhythm. Hawke, not wanting to be left out of the fun, positioned himself behind his brother and kissed the boy's neck, his hands caressing and massaging the mewling boy's neck and back.

Between Chandler sucking him off and his brother gently touching his body and kissing, licking, even biting his neck Carver couldn't help but purr out soft moans and sweet comments. Hawke grinned and pressed the growing bulge in his pants against his brother's naked back, gently rotating his hips. Carver let out a strangled moan and fisted Chandler's fine brunette hair, forcing himself to relax before he bucked his hips into Chandler's mouth.

Hawke chuckled and murmured an apology, his right hand slowly ghosting up the man's back and neck, along his jaw and gently fondling his lower lip. "Suck it."

Carver's tongue darted out and took in his brother's finger, sucking on it and moaning. After nearly a minute of the soft suckling Hawke pulled his finger from Carver's mouth and brought the slick wet finger down to the brother's ass. Without much warning the elder brother eased his finger into his brother's pucker, getting a rhythm and finger fucking the boy into oblivion.

Carver hissed and moaned, letting Chandler's hair go and gently caressing the side of his face. "Oh fucking Maker I - I am c - aw shit yeah." Before he could even finish his thought his body reached its climax, his warm ejaculate shooting into Chandler's mouth. Chandler straightened up and swallowed the cum, licking the corner of his lips sexily. Hawke withdrew his finger and eased the boy into a laying position; once he was safely on the floor to recover from his sexual endeavor the older refocused his attentions on Chandler.

They pressed their lips together, opening their mouths and letting their tongues massage and explore one another. Hawke wrapped his arms around Chandler's neck, drawing him closer and probing deeper and deeper into the curiously delicious mouth. Carver watched his friend's and brother's erotic display, soon finding himself extremely aroused as they rubbed their crotches together and moaned so delightfully loud. They stopped snogging long enough for Hawke to look over and notice his brother's growing interest. "Looks like we have a spectator."

Chandler hummed contemplatively, tapping his chin with one hand and placing the other on his hip. "Sadly this isn't a spectator sport." He replied with an almost apologetic smile. "Looks like he's going to have to join in or get out."

"But - but you two!"

"Be a dear and help me get undressed, then I will get you something to really stutter over."

Neither Hawke nor Carver could, at first, discern if Chandler was serious or not, but by the look in his eye and with Carver's reminder of the (mind-numbingly good) blow job from earlier still abuzz on his dick he was more than happy to see just how well Chandler would hold up on his promise. Hawke shrugged and decided to join in as well - after all this wasn't a spectator's sport!

The brothers slowly, almost torturously slowly, helped Chandler from his threads, both placing gentle kisses on the newly exposed flesh and ghosting over the foreign body to better acquaint themselves. Once completely naked Chandler got down to his hands and knees like a dog. "Carve, fuck me."

"W-wha-?" Carver stuttered, suddenly feeling dizzy and more than a little embarrassed.

"You heard me. _Fuck me_." Chandler repeated with a bit more force, craning his head to better look behind him at the flushed younger Hawke. "Should I have your big brother do it for you?"

That pushed the right button. The younger's demeanor changed to the wild ferocity of an animal, allowing his body to take control of his actions as he positioned himself behind the boy and, with one fluid movement, pushed his erect member into the willing entrance. In his altered state Chandler could barely even register the pain, a loud guttural whine as his body adjusted to the intrusion than now pounded into him repeated and unrelenting.

Hawke found himself ogling the sight of his brother taking Chandler so completely, so much like an animal. For a moment he let his guard down to breath out a moan. "Fuck that's so hot." He found himself whine, suddenly feeling way to tight and uncomfortable in his clothes. The adage "if you can't beat them, join them" floated into his mind and decided his state of dress was far too formal considering the affair and pulled off his pants and under clothing. He watched the two men fuck, stroking his length and simply admiring the little show.

Amidst the throes of passion Chandler managed to throw Hawke a demanding, sultry look, licking his lips in probably the sexiest way that Hawke's fucked little mind could imagine. He _needed _those lips sucking him off, there was no use in hiding it. With more eager than he had intended the elder brother scuttled over to Chandler's wanton body, getting on his knees and gently caressing the boy's face, a moan escaping his lips as the other took his length into his mouth.

Across from him Carver looked a bit miffed that the moans, gasps, and cries he worked hard for were muffled by his brother's length but the moans he made in return levied the annoyance to a strange pleasure. The curses, moans, and muffled cries filled the air for the best albeit shortest minutes of their lives until they each came, almost like a domino effect, both the brothers' seeds taking over Chandler while his fell to the floor. Out of courtesy Hawke withdrew his still hard penis from the boy's mouth, the submissive better able to swallow the desire.

Carver grunted, almost a little unwilling to leave the warmth but deciding it was for the better as he withdrew, helping his friend down to a laying position to recuperate as Hawke had done for him earlier.

The brothers looked at each other, having a silent conversation with one another. They found themselves to still be extremely horny with no one else left to screw but each other. Hawke seemed to be far more bold and far less steadfast to his convictions than Carver and was first to give in to the sparkling temptation of fucking one another's brains out. Pouncing on his brother with no thought to consequence he forced his mouth on Carver's who, after a moment of resistance, gave in and kissed back.

Their lips pulled apart to breath, Hawke chuckling darkly at his brother before he forced the boy into a sitting position, sitting on his lap and once again pressing their lips together, moving his hips to rub his sex against his brother's abdomen. Carver groaned from the sensation, his hands groping and feeling every inch of his brother's body in a mix of curiosity and interest.

Hawke gave an uncharacteristic squeak as his brother groped his ass, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He pulled away for a moment to breath again, resting his arms on his brother's shoulders and pursing his lips thoughtfully. "You want to fuck me don't you?" It was more a statement than a question, Carver knew well, but he couldn't help but answer in the deepest of purrs.

"Yes I do."

"Oh you do? Then why are you beating around the bush, so to speak."

The younger blushed, looking down between them and only blushing more, the innuendo far too strong to ignore. He felt his manhood prick to life once more as a result of the high sexual energy between the two brothers. "I'm not." He finally declared haughtily.

Hawke bit back a purr as he lifted himself slightly, Carver adjusted his penis to gain a better angle to Hawke's entrance. Once he was better aligned he eased his brother down onto him, taking great care to be gentle. He brother was flattered by the sweetness and found it hard to decline as he was filled inch by inch. The feeling of being invaded so wholly was a new feeling though far from unwanted. Strange, but oddly addicting.

When Carver became completely sheathed inside his brother he felt himself twitch pleasurably. It was tight and hot, like Chandler's, though it had a certain feel to it that was all Hawke's, and Carver came to find he enjoyed it immensely. They both stopped to catch their breath, staring into one another's eyes, both their brains feeling as though they were about to combust from the sheer forbiddance and enticement it brought. As always Hawke was the first to overcome the overwhelming feelings, throwing himself back and pulling Carver with him, both taking great care to not to separate their joint bodies.

"You look pretty good on your back." Carver teased, looking down at his brother and admiring the sight. Hopefully he would remember the look of shock and indignation on the elder's face for years to come, but even if he didn't it sure was worth a laugh or two while it lasted.

"Don't get used to it." Hawke huffed, moving his lower half slightly as if to tell Carver to start doing something other than tease. At least tease verbally.

Carver took the hint and moved his hips, rocking in and out of his brother slowly. With every move Hawke purred and mewled in ways that enticed the younger to move just to hear more. Faintly Hawke moaned for his younger to go faster, to dominate him harder and "make me your's."

The promises and goading was too much for him to ignore and he found himself thrusting into the younger in hard, long thrusts. As they reached closer to their climaxes Hawke was writhing and screaming in pleasure, screaming the younger's name.

With a final shuddering cry of pleasure his second orgasm coated his little brother's abdomen. Carver lasted only moments longer, giving a hoarse whimper as his third orgasm raked through his body, his tiredness hitting him like a hammer as it did. They laid there for a minute, breathless chuckles escaping both of them. "I think I'm done now." Hawke whispered, unable to muster anything louder than such.

Carver nodded, pulling himself from Hawke, looking over at Chandler who had accidentally been forgotten. Sometime during the brothers' struggle the boy found himself to Carver's bed, seemingly asleep. "I think he has the right idea." He murmured sleepily, pushing himself up. "I think I need a nap."

Hawke couldn't help but agree, using his brother to help pull himself up, nearly doubling over from the pain that shot up his backside. "You did a number on me Carver."

"Oh, sorry." Carver apologized dumbly, laying down on his bed beside Chandler. Hawke gave a short laugh before laying on the opposite side.

Chandler stirred slightly, smirking and kissing Carver, then Hawke. "We should do this again sometime."

* * *

><p>Yeah...<br>Chandler was purposely left un-described save his hair... He was an unimportant character. xD Maybe I'll bring him back. Maybe not.

Sorry about the name, I needed a laugh.

Comment, flame,whatever.

Also, I didn't really read over it like I normally do. I just sort of skimmed. See an error? Lemme know.


	5. Crush

Crush

Author's Note: This was originally supposed to be rated M, but I decided to make it… not… seeing as how everything else I'll be writing will be M.

Rating: T

* * *

><p>"But father! There are more important things to do, like training!"<p>

"There he goes again, complaining about anything and everything. Quite whining won't you?"

That seemed to shut the fifteen year-old "the world is against me!" Carver up right and well. His older (though whether he was wiser was well under debate) brother smirked, and crossed his arms over his chest before he began his "holier than thou" lecture. "We have to learn about the Exalted Age, Carver. That was the Age where the Exalted March against the Tevinter Impirium ended and a Blight began. If you'd quit exercising those arms of yours for a minute and exercised your _brain_ you'd realize that."

Bethany gave an uneasy chuckle from beside her eldest brother, tugging at her dark brunette hair with similar restlessness. "Please Garrett, don't be so mean to him. He's smart, and he _does_ have a point. The body _is_ just as important."

Garrett huffed, knowing he had been outmaneuvered. He was _never_ outmaneuvered! Still he couldn't help but give his little sister a knowing smirk. He had taught his fellow mage well after all!

Carver, though, was far from pleased with his sister's diplomatic answer. "I can fight my own battles Beth." He muttered, looking down on the floor and clenching his fist; more out of annoyance than out of anger. "Fine, whatever. Though I refuse if you put Garrett in charge of the lesson again father!"

The three Hawke siblings looked to their father - one in annoyance, one in shock, and one with a bright,, carefree smile. It really wasn't too hard to wager who gave what face. Malcolm smiled at his children, patting his younger son's shoulder. He was a gifted young man and hopefully some day he would realize he was so much more than just the "younger brother". Strangely enough he had the sudden feeling he would never get to see that moment.

Scattering the morbid thoughts from his mind he nodded. "Very well, I suppose I will be teaching the lesson today. Sorry Garrett, I know you were looking forward to torturing your little brother today but you will just have to get your kicks elsewhere."

Garrett snorted in impudence but the shadow of a smile on his lips hinted towards his more amused feelings.

The siblings sat around the table and listened to their father giving a rough run-down of the Exalted Age, from year one to year 100. Their mother even came in to listen to her husband speak. He was an eloquent man, well-versed and exceedingly knowledgeable. It was only right that people would be willing to listen; even in their early years the children loved to listen to him speak, to hear his stories.

"Everybody understand?" The three children nodded in unison, Carver a little more slowly than the others. "Good, quiz time!"

The quiz after the lesson was a common occurrence, one that the siblings learned to deal with - Garrett far more enthusiastically than the other two. If Garrett were in school he would be the annoying one who would be a know-it-all and set the standard for everyone else. In some ways it wasn't fair. He seemed to already know everything he was taught, he was always two steps ahead of everyone, he was far too quick-witted and far too sharp tongued to be a sixteen year old.

Something that was the ire of Carver's life. Finally his father asked him a question and he found himself become rigid, his eyes slowly looking up to his father's. They were good-natured, tender, every bit the face of a doting father. Still Carver felt the anxiety bubble in his throat. _Please ask an easy one, please ask an easy one!_ He mentally begged, hoping his father would hear.

Sadly he was given no such leniency. His father asked a question that Carver had long forgotten the answer to. He thought he knew the answer, the name on the tip of his tongue, and yet…

"C'mon it's been nearly a minute father! He doesn't know it, he never remembers anything you tell him!"

Carver threw his brother a dark look. "Shut up Garrett! At least I'm not always running behind mother's skirts whenever someone makes even a slight move towards you!"

Garrett gave a stage gasp and both Malcolm and Bethany sighed - here they go again. "I do no such thing!" Garrett exclaimed, getting to his feet and slamming his hands on the table.

"Oh really?" Carver asked, getting up and mirroring his brother's movements. Garrett opened his mouth to shoot something back when Carver lunged across the table, knocking his chair back with a loud bang and causing Bethany to squeak and scoot back in here chair away from the table. How vulgar!

"Hey hey! I will have none of this in my house you two!" Malcolm finally yelled, getting off his own chair and picking Carver up, setting him on the floor. The younger brother still seethed and Garrett looked smug. "And you! You're older, _you_ are supposed to be more mature than this!"

Garrett looked his father square in the eye, though he did not flinch and he did not look ashamed either. Finally he sighed. "Yes sir." Without any prompting from his father he looked at Carver, sighing and shifting uncomfortably. "Sorry Carver."

For a moment the warrior thought he saw his brother blushing but as soon as it was there it was gone. A trick of the light was what he finally decided on. "It's fine brother."

"Good. See Beth? Any beast can be quelled! Even brutes like these two." Malcolm joked to his daughter, causing the girl to giggle. "Let's wrap this up for today, your mother and I need to go to town before night falls. Garrett I'm expecting you to watch over the house - and be nice to your brother!"

"I know father, I'll be good."Garrett assured with a cordial smile.

The Hawke parents left and the brothers headed to their room, both going to do their opposite hobbies. Garrett grabbed a book and started thumbing through it, sitting on his bed and attempting to ignore his younger brother's existence.

Carver on the other hand was throwing on his protective greaves and bracers, having every intention of practicing his sword technique. After a loud click from his armor Garrett's ears pricked and he looked up, a smile twitching on his face.

They looked at each other momentarily before Carver looked away, picking up one of his old broad swords. "Cousland."

"What?" Garrett couldn't help but snap, his brow furrowing in confusion.

"Cousland. The answer to father's question, it's Cousland isn't it?"

Garrett bit the inside of his cheek for a moment before nodding. "Yes, Cousland. Why didn't you speak up when you were first asked if you knew?"

It was a legitimate question asked in an uncharacteristically nice way. Focusing his attention on the sword hilt he shrugged. "I don't do well under pressure. Not everyone is like you Garrett."

Garrett clicked his tongue, placing the tome onto his bed and getting up. "And not everyone can protect themselves like you. I can crack a few skulls, you know that! But -" he paused, realizing he was starting to lose control of his emotions. "Sometimes I just want to set some fools on fire, but I can't exactly do that. Not unless I want to put us all in jeopardy and get shipped off to the Circle."

"I get it." Carver sighed, somewhat wishing he didn't. It was just so much easier to be mad at him than the understand him - not that anyone could really understand Garrett Hawke. He was far too enigmatic.

"Good." The mage replied, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I really am sorry I taunted you like I did. I just like seeing you squirm, I guess."

Carver looked at his brother, his eyes wide and stunned. "That's not something most people just admit to, brother."

"I know!"

How cheeky. Carver sighed, rolling his eyes and looking away from his brother. "You're right damn insane."

"Thank you, I would have to be to survive as your older brother." Slowly he removed his hand and let if fall to his side. "So what are you going to go do?"

"Huh? Oh, I guess just go outside and mess with my swords." He shifted uncomfortably, trying to think of what to say. This was the most the two ever said to one another in one day. "What are you going to do?"

"Go with you. I'd love to watch you practice."

The made Carver blush but he decided to not say anything out of fear his words would betray him. Clearing his throat he turned on his heel and headed out of the room. Garrett smirked, running over to his bed and grabbing his book before running to join his brother as he headed out the door.

At first having his brother watching him while he practiced was unnerving and odd. He and his brother fought before - both with and against each other, but never had he felt his brother's sharp, rapacious eyes on him. After awhile he grew used to the feeling, somewhat enjoying the feeling those eyes gave him. Occasionally he would look over at his brother, the mage's tome open but his eyes not even bothering to look at the pages. After nearly an hour he threw his sword into the ground and stretched, walking over to his brother and sitting beside him. "What are you reading?"

Garrett smirked, showing the warrior the cover of his book. "Something about the Tevinter Imperium. I know I shouldn't, but it is really quite interesting." He marked his place in the book and put it down, moving closer to his brother before burying his face in Carver's neck. The boy was far too shocked by the action to do anything, blushing insanely as his brother move closed. "Mm, you smell amazing. Why is it even your sweat smells good?"

Carver grunted, finally finding use of his arms and pushing his brother away. "You're disgusting."

"Am I really? You're the one sweating!" The mage teased, playing off his little faux pas as nothing. It mage Carver's eye twitch.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because you smell so good. What? I can't _smell _you without it being sexually charged?" He asked with a raised brow.

"I - I didn't even say that! You did!" Carver sputtered, getting up to his feet and nearly stumbling backwards as Garrett stood up also.

"Calm down Carver! Damn. You smell good, big damn deal. I'm not going to screw you because I made a comment."

That didn't make the warrior feel any better, if anything it made the situation worse. "What's that supposed to mean? What the hell is going through the thick magic-addled head of your's?"

Garrett sighed, rubbing his forehead and turning a little pink in the face. "Sorry, just forget it happened." He groaned, almost begged.

"I can't just forget something like that Garrett! That - this… Gar." The warrior was at a loss for words, that same anxiety he got when his father looked at him during quiz time bubbling in his throat.

Garrett was feeling much the same, clenching and unclenching his hands as he tried to figure out what to do. "It didn't mean anything, so quit worrying about it and go back to practicing." It was a demand and Carver knew it. For once he was willing to follow his brother's demands. Nodding slowly he headed over to his sword and started once more his practicing.

Much to his confusion his elder brother sat back down though did this time around he read his book rather than watched. Carver didn't know at all how he felt about it - part of him said he should be happy his brother was ignoring him, but another part of him, a far darker and primal part, suggested that maybe he should do something to earn that alien affection again. In the end he decided to listen to reason, much to that primal desire's ire.

Another good hour had past, the sun beginning to set. Carver sighed and headed back over to Garrett, sword loose in his hand. "We should head back. Mother and father are probably home by now and dinner should be soon."

For a moment he thought his statement went to deaf ears, as he was about to speak again Garrett held up an authoritative hand telling him to silence. His gold eyes scanned the page for a long minute before he marked his place once more and closed it. He picked himself up, giving Carver a wordless nod before heading towards home. The warrior followed, suddenly feeling sad. "Are you all right brother? You're oddly quiet."

"No I'm not." Garrett hissed in reply. Neither knew which statement he had answered to, and neither really wanted to know. Still Garrett sighed. "I'm sorry Carver, I need to stop taking everything out on you. You're just doing what you think is right."

Carver felt lost for a moment before the blood rushed to his face in realization. "Right, that. I had forgot." He lied, busying himself by looking at his sword. "Look Garrett, it's fine. It isn't your fault you're -"

"Don't even say it brother, just don't." The mage groaned. "Father already gave me that bull, and I already knew that bull when he gave it to me. Nobody in Fereldan really cares about it, bloody hell no one in most of Thedas really cares about it."

"Hm two steps behind once again, aren't I?" Carver said numbly, trying to muster a laugh.

"No, you're not. You're just trying not to remember which guy I was… targeting."

"Me."

Garrett nodded.

Carver frowned, biting the inside of his cheek. He wanted to ask why, he wanted to ask what sort of joke it was meant to be. Still he didn't ask, especially not after he saw the family home.

The rest of the evening passed and after dinner the family spent some "quality time" together, a common ritual in the house. Both Garrett and Carver were extremely uncomfortable during the whole affair, though the rest of the household seemed oblivious to the stress between the two. To them they probably just saw the boys' usual rivalry at work.

"All right, I need sleep." Malcolm interrupted, sitting up and stretching. "I think you all should get some rest too. Another early morning."

The rest listened to their father's light warnings. Garrett and Carver both were anxious to go to their room and get the entire day behind them, but once alone in their bedroom together the feeling only felt more awkward.

They tried to not pay attention to one another as they dressed for bed, Garrett seeming to find it an easier process than his younger brother. "Garrett." Said boy flinched and turned to look over at his brother across the room, waiting for him to speak first. "Why?"

The mage blinked a few times, rubbing his ear as if to clean it. "What did you say?"

"Why?" Carver repeated, his voice a bit louder.

"Depends on what you mean by that." Hawke muttered, turning back to his bed and pulling the covers down.

"Don't give me that, you know what I mean!"

"No need to get so snappy. If you must know, you just gave yourself your own answer." He looked back to offer his brother a smile. "I like people with a bit of zeal, intensity. Just so happens you have that spunk. Sorry if it offends, just get over it."

Carver pursed his lips but said nothing as he laid on his bed. Sleep was hard to take that night.

Following morning Carver woke up to see Garrett was already up and about. It took nearly an hour before Carver could find the will to even get up, the pull to just laying in bed all day sounding far sweeter than the warrior could ever imagine. Even when he was ill he never wanted to laze in bed all day.

After pulling himself from his stupor he dressed and trudged into the kitchen, grabbing a piece of bread and absent-mindedly nibbling on it. "Where's Beth and Garrett, mother?"

Leandra looked over as her son and smiled sheepishly. "Your father took them out for awhile. Looks like it is just you and I until they come home." Carver frowned but didn't dare interrupt his mother as she continued to talk. "You know how mages are, always sharing little secrets. Would you like to bake some cookies with me?"

"Cookies? What's the occasion?" Carver blinked joining his mother whom he now noticed was busy mixing eggs in a bowl.

"No occasion." She replied honestly. "I just figure you and your brother could use something to pep you up."

Carver hummed in reply. "What do you need me to do?"

Mother and son spent the morning baking, talking. Carver loved his parents, though in recent years he had been somewhat distant from them, particularly his mother. It stirred feelings of bliss to spend such time with his mother after so many months of emotional estrangement. Thinking back he couldn't quite remember why he had been so passive to her to begin with.

Their bonding time was soon cut short when the mage trio returned from their trek; the smell of cookies was the first thing they all noted and the first thing their father asked about. After playful teasing between the parents, which earned a collective moan of annoyance and disgust from the children, a few cookies were parceled out for the family. Carver took his three and exited the house, nibbling on the sweet goods.

Garrett seemed to have the same idea, running out of the home with his cookies in hand. Seemingly innocently as he strolled over next to his younger brother and walking in step with him as they headed off the property and towards the woods. "So according to mother I have you to thank for these cookies." He started.

Carver said nothing for a minute, tossing the rest of his first cookie into his mouth and chewing it. "Not really. Mother said she was baking and she asked me to help. So I did."

"Regardless, thank you. Very much."

Carver blushed, grabbing another cookie and using that as his excuse not to talk. Garrett seemed to think nothing of it, wrapping his other two cookies up in their napkin and pocket. "Father wanted to take you with us, you know. He didn't leave you behind. I told him not to."

That caught the warrior's attentions. "Why did you tell him not to?" He asked, his voice a little louder than he had expected.

"You were tossing and turning all night, I couldn't wake you up in good conscious. I'm sorry if you wanted to go, but mostly we just talked about magic. You would have been too busy looking at the scenery and trying to track the wolves." Garrett teased.

"Maybe, or maybe I would have listened. My sister and brother are mages, I'm around magic all the time. I should learn something. Occasionally." Carver mumbled, more to himself than to his brother. He turned sharply and deviated from the path, taking a seat on a stump a few yards out. Garrett followed after him, sitting on a conveniently placed rock across from his brother.

"I'm driving you crazy aren't I?" The mage asked, a slight frown tugging at his lips as he took out his cookies again and undoing the simple knot. "I shouldn't have done it, I know, but it is far too late for that now."

Carver mumbled something incoherently, eating his last cookie slowly as he thought. Anything to buy more time. Garrett realized his ploy and decided to shrug it off; they would talk when he was ready and there would be no point in forcing him to talk. A minute passed before the warrior sighed and looked over at his brother. "You're not driving me crazy, I don't think. I just don't understand. We're brothers."

"Welcome to my world." Garrett laughed, though his laugh was weak and even Carver knew it. He broke off a piece of his cookie and nibbled on it curiously. "It doesn't matter. It's just a silly idolization. It will pass. Don't think too much about it."

Carver huffed but said nothing else, eyeing his brother's cookies more in contempt than actual want.

Garrett looked down at his cookies, then back to Carver with a raised brow. "Want my last one?"

"No."

The elder brother smiled, offering his final cookie to his brother. "Take it." Slowly the younger took it, looking his brother directly in the eye. He wanted to thank him but his words were lost as his brother got up off his seat. "The Maker just has a funny sense of humor, doesn't he?"

"Yes I suppose He does."

After those two days life continued as normal for the boys, though they kept one another's at arm's reach. Nobody seemed to notice the sudden change in attitude, and if they had they were far too polite to say anything about it. Even after the sudden death of their father it did nothing to bring the Hawke boys together; only served to tear them apart.

In some ways Garrett saw it as a blessing, his brother no longer thought about the day he first made his move, his brother no longer felt like he had to be so guarded around him. In others it was a curse, Carver was the only one who could keep up with him and challenge him. The only one worth of his love and the more time went on the more he realized his crush could never be quelled.

* * *

><p>They never got together, how pathetic! I mean...<br>Sad.  
>Yes, sad.<br>Comment, flame, whatever.


	6. Tonight

Tonight

Rated: M

* * *

><p>Garrett had been coming home later and later. It was to be expected, in a way. Father was dead and things were not easy. It was as though an Evil force had stolen the family's happiness and not even the Maker Himself could restore the jovial and well-natured feelings of the household. Still it weighed heavily on Carver's mind and conscious. The longer Garrett was out amongst the town folk and Templars, the longer he was alone with them, the further risk he put his family and himself.<p>

Mages, as it was well known, were not exactly the most loved people in Thedas. "Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him", it was one of the eldest Hawke's favorite quotes. Every time he would hear Chanter Devons say it he would laugh bitterly, the mirth in his eyes far from pleasant. On more than one occasion Carver had asked Garrett about what he thought about the Maker, and Andraste. The more they spoke, the more confused the younger brother would become; still it was obvious the elder was not as committed to the Maker as the rest of the family. Perhaps if he hadn't been born a mage, it would have been different.

Carver sighed, rubbing his eyes and looking over at his mother whom had long since fallen asleep on the couch. Bethany looked over at her brother from the couch, still stroking the exhausted widow's hair lovingly. "Go look for him if you're so worried Carver. I'll stay here with mother."

He gave his twin a half-smile. "I'm not worried." He whispered coolly. "I'm just upset is all. He could very well be putting everyone else in jeopardy. If someone sees him even casting a mediocre spell the templars would be on him like _that_." As if to place emphasis he snapped his fingers. "I'm sorry Beth, I know he's far smarter than that. I just don't know what he's up to."

"In other words, you're worried." Bethany summarized with a grin. "And you're thinking he's up to something. I know you have a love-hate thing with Garrett but that doesn't mean he's trying to kill you, or harm us. He loves us, and he loves you too. Even if you are rude to him."

She winked at him and Carver grunted. "I am not rude, we just have conflicting personalities." He shot back with a grimace. "We don't get along with one another like I get along with you. If anything he is the rude one. He asks for my opinion and intentionally does the opposite of what I say. Don't tell me I'm imagining it either, you've seen it."

"Just go. Maybe he could use your help." Bethany urged. "I'll stay with mother."

Carver nodded, getting to his feet. "You should probably try to get her to bed." He added absently before he left. The journey to Lothering wasn't too long, it was only about a mile out but that did not make the traveling any easier. Especially after working nearly all day, dealing with the sadness, his mother constantly blaming herself for father's death…

Trudging into the Square he stopped to ask around about his brother. The Square was mostly barren save a few wanderers, those heading towards the pub, and those attempting to make their way home for the night. One of the (many) pub-goers stopped to listen while Carver attempted to ask a guard. "Ah! Chickie! I know 'im! He's in 'he pub!" The younger brother did a double-take and quickly thanked the guard before going over to the soon-to-be patron. "Excuse me?"

"Chickie. People call 'im that 'cause 'he name. He's prolly drinkin' up o' storm."

Carver blanched. Wasn't Garrett always the one complaining about drunks, drinking, so on and so forth? "Thank you, I suppose." He said before running off in the direction of the Tavern, wanting to make sure that it was just a misunderstanding. He stopped to breathe, opening the tavern door and peering in. He had been in the tavern before, but that was years ago, six? Seven? And it was only for a few nights. He was much too young to even remember those days.

Closing the door behind him he looked around at the unsavory patrons, the smell of booze and smoke strong on his nose and far from pleasant. He sneezed wafting the scents away from his nose as he moved closer into the tavern, catching bits and pieces of conversation. Those he didn't care much about, what he wanted was his brother. It was as though the Maker heard his prayer and his eyes caught the flash of his brother, getting up on one of the tables at the beckoning of a fellow patron.

Carver watched from the door in a stunned horror as his brother started singing in a jaunty, drunken slur - an old bar tune from Orlais. The young warrior had to plug his ears in annoyance when most of the rest of the tavern decided to join in. Drunk people singing should have been against the law, in Carver's opinion. At the end of the tune the elder brother knocked his drink back, nearly tipping backwards in his wake. He would have been flat on his back if it hadn't been for a generous man grabbing him and pushing him upright. "Get of my tables now!"

Carver looked over at the tender waving at Garrett to get down. The young man gave him a nod of acknowledgement and jumped to the floor. Carver took that as his chance and pushed through the crowd, grabbing his brother's arm and pulling him back. It was only afterward he realized that probably wasn't a good idea, his already compromised brother stumbling backwards into the younger's arms. If Carver hadn't been as strong as he was they would have both gone down. Garrett looked up and smiled, a little stupidly. "Oh brother!"

"Oh brother? That's all you have to say?" Carver replied with an annoyed sigh. "What are you even doing here?"

Garrett straightened up, dusting away the imaginary filth from his pants before turning to his brother. "Nothing, nothing. Just unwinding is all. It's surprisingly fun!"

Fun? Right. The warrior looked around and felt his skin crawl. The place was nasty and smelled like piss and booze. A girl walked by and Garrett smirked, slapping her on the bum. The girl looked back at him with a sly, sexy smile before she continued on her way. Carver gagged, how depraved. "Knock it off, let's go home." He pulled at his brother's arm who waved him away and huffed.

"In a few more minutes. One more drink. Why don't you relax a little and enjoy it." Garrett admonished with a roll of his eyes. "Maybe we could finally find something we both enjoy!"

Carver clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Pay and let's go! Bethany is home alone with mother."

"Well no shit, if you're here they're obviously there alone since father's dead." Garrett said, waving his hand with a bored expression.

"You're being an ass, pay and let's go."

"No!"

Carver grunted and grabbed his brother around the waist, thrusting his hand into his brother's right pocket to grab the coin purse. Garrett screamed, trying to wriggle from his brother's iron-like grip. "Carver knock it off, stop touching me!"

"Is there a problem here?" A voice asked from behind the brothers. Carver stopped manhandling and looked behind him with an annoyed growl.

"No, there isn't a problem." He said calmly. "I need to take _this one_ home." The man was rather large but it didn't bother the warrior in the least. He could take that guy should he start in on him.

"I don't take too kindly to your tone." The man warned.

"Don't worry about it Jon, he's my brother!" Garrett cut in with a drunk laugh, taking the time to slip out of his brother's grip and pounce on him, wrapping his arms around the warrior's neck. "He is just trying to make me go home."

The man, Jon, frowned, crossing his arms over his chest. "Didn't look like that from where I'm standing."

"He's a good kid Jon-Jon! He wouldn't hurt a fly unless it was a slave trader, or a jerk, or tried to kill him." The elder teased, ghosting his lips over his brother's ear.

Carver wrinkled his nose in distaste, the smell of liquor on his brother's breath making him flinch. "Stop it Garrett."

"Anyways, he's taking me home tonight!" The elder perked up, letting his brother go and pulling out his coin purse. "Best go pay and leave before little Hawke here decides to drag me out. He doesn't seem to like this place so much."

Jon didn't look too pleased but said nothing, just shrugged. The younger Hawke gave a frown, he definitely didn't like _that _guy. Or the place so much. Garrett looped his arm around his brother's and pulled him towards the bar and paid. The bartender and he exchanged a few words, Carver not too interested in what they were saying, before the drunken Hawke once more started pulling the younger along like a rag doll. Carver obliged only because of his want to leave. The fresh night air outside was a welcome to his senses and he watched as Garrett let him go and staggered ahead of his brother, dancing and murmuring something to himself.

Carver sighed and jogged to catch up with his drunk of an older brother. "Are you going to talk to me at all?"

"About what?" Garrett cooed in a sing-song voice, dancing around his brother a bit suggestively.

"About the drinking?"

"Right, that! Forgot all about it."

It took all of Carver's willpower not to punch his brother though he realized that doing so would be pointless. "You're an annoying drunk."

"People say I'm quite happy when I'm drunk. To be quite honest it's a lot better than being sober. I'm sick of it all; father's death, mother's crying in the middle of the night when she thinks no one will hear her, Bethany always thinking she isn't normal, you always working so hard to keep everyone happy and safe. Then there's the mage deal, I can't be who I am, who I want to be all because some woman hundreds of years ago believed she heard the Maker talking to her." Garrett gave a dark chuckle. "If you ask me she was nuts."

"Don't say that brother! Would you have preferred the Tevinter Imperium?"

Garrett cut his brother off with another laugh, darker still. "No. The Tevinter Imperium is just as despicable. Murdering innocents, family! Never. I could never harm you, even when you're being insufferable. They're nothing more than two sides of the same coin."

Carver gave his brother an unsure look, wondering how someone could think like that. He had met Dwarves who believed in The Stone or whatever they called it, he heard about the Dalish who believed in the Creators, he had even heard people who questioned the Maker before. But never so violently. "Garrett, that can't be the only reason why you're slowly drinking yourself to death."

Garrett stopped and gave his brother a look, one he could see even in the pale moonlight. "That's about all. Life is amazingly fucked up and I feel alone in it all."

"You aren't alone, you do have mother, Bethany. You even have me still, Garrett. Life isn't that wrong, there is hope for the future. We can move on." Carver challenged with a frown, placing his hand on his brother's shoulder. "We can build whatever sort of future we want."

"Can we little brother? I have a hard time believing that." Garrett admitted, throwing his arm over Carver's neck and pulling him closer, forcing them to continue their walk. "Because between you and me, I think that killing off the entire Chantry would be a little hard to do."

"Knock it off! Don't be so pessimistic. You aren't alone and you don't need to kill off the Chantry simply because you don't believe in their methods." Carver whispered hoarsely, shifting his eyes to make sure there were no peering Templars. Luckily there were none. "It would be better suited to just prove that not all mages needed to be locked up in a cage. I don't think you or Bethany should be after all."

They were nearly home now, the dim lights in the distance looking warm and inviting. It brought a sad smile to Garrett's lips. "You sure I don't belong in a cage? I am a bird of prey after all."

The joke made Carver grin. "You are no bird, but you are a bit of a predator. Now don't look so sad, it's bringing me down."

"I can't think of anything that doesn't bring you down." Garrett snickered, stopping outside the door and making his brother look directly into his eyes. "I still don't get why you went looking for me. Were you worried about me?"

Carver felt his face grow hot and he looked away from his brother in humiliation. "A little." He finally admitted. "And the rest of the family, too!" He added quickly as though to cover up a faux pas.

"You're a good kid Carver. Here, look at me." Garrett cupped his brother's chin his hand and forced them to look at one another once again. "No need to look so embarrassed, it's ok to be worried about me. I worry about you too. And Bethany and mother. We're family, it's a family thing."

"Not like this." The younger murmured, taking his brother's hand in his own and taking it away from his face. The older gave him a look before smirking pulling his brother into a kiss. He waited a moment, trying to gauge a reaction. He got none other than pleasant shock. Realizing he wanted it he pushed his brother against the door and deepened the kiss, his tongue gently gliding against his brother's lower lip, begging for entrance.

It took Carver a moment before he finally gave his brother the entrance he wanted, the tang of liquor hitting his tongue as his brother invaded him. He shivered, gently prodding his tongue against Garrett's in a curious way. As his brother's hands slipped under his shirt he felt his skin shiver in delight, wanting to feel more. Garrett pulled away to breath, gently biting his brother's lower lip before separating themselves. "I shouldn't have done that."

"Don't stop now."

"Carver."

"Just once Garrett, please."

"I'm drunk Carver, you don't want to have sex with someone who is drunk."

"Please."

Even in his drunkenness the pleas stuck with Garrett. He nodded slightly, resting his head on Carver's shoulder. "I'm drunk." He repeated dumbly. Still the younger didn't seem to care.

The following movements were so quick that neither could remember. Their lips crashed together in a kiss, the younger leading them towards their bedroom. They took care to stay silent until they were in their room, the door shut and their bodies mingling on the elder's bed as they clawed at their clothing. Carver let out a moan as his brother's clothed and hardening sex rubbed against his naked own, the elder's tongue sloppily caressing his brother's jaw before riddling it with kisses.

"Garrett, take me. Please take me."

Garrett purred in response, kicking off the final remainders of his clothes and slowly edging his way down, leaving kisses and bites in his wake until he came to his brother's length, grabbing it and licking the underside from base to tip, staying to tease the weeping tip with his tongue slowly, each lap causing the younger to groan in delight. Without warning the elder took his brother's length into his mouth, whatever he was unable to take he used his hand to encompass the rest and began to bob his head.

Carver grabbed at the sheets, his head lolling back as he mewled his pleasure. "Garrett, that feels so amazing."

Garrett smirked, humming cheerfully from the praise. The younger continued to whimper, moving his hips shallowly into his brother's mouth, the mage seemingly unaffected by the movements. "I'm so close Gar, so close." Carver gave a final guttural groan, arching his back and curling his toes from the feeling of his body releasing his hot want into his brother's mouth.

The mage sat up, spitting the seed onto his hand and slicking down his hard cock. "This is going to hurt a little." He warned, grabbed his brother's thighs and dragging him down, capture his wanton lips in a kiss while his hips jerked forward into the boy's anus slowly and carefully. Carver gave a muffle scream, his body shuddering from the intrusion but making no move to stop it.

Garrett pulled away with a sad grin. "Sorry." He apologized in a rushed whisper. "It'll feel good, just relax." He urged, stopping his advance until his brother's muscles relaxed. "There, there." He petted the boy's thighs, cooing sweet words into his ear until he was fully taken into his brother. "Tell me when you're ready."

Carver nodded, his cheeks flush and beads of sweat started to form along his brow. "I think I'm ready."

They started slow, Garrett doing most of the work while Carver bit through the pain, the pleasure he wanted to feel starting to break through the pain. Garrett began to increase his pace bit by bit, a primal growl escaping his lips as he moved in and out of the boy. At the height of his speed he rammed hard into his brother; Garrett captured his brothers lips in another bruising kiss to muffle the scream of pleasure that dared to escape him.

Pulling away from the kiss again the elder again apologized to his brother, earning a breathless laugh from the boy below him. Garrett couldn't help but let a short chuckle out, kissing his brother's forehead and slowing his pace to a more sensual feel. "Is this a dream?" He whispered, his lips ghosting over Carver's cheekbone.

"No." Carver replied between soft purrs of pleasure. "This is real."

Vaguely Garrett chuckled, pressing it lips to Carver's in a soft peck before grabbing his brother's cock and stroking the engorged organ teasingly in stride with his hips, watching the young warrior shiver and mewl helplessly from each little touch. "As dirty as this is, fuck it feels good."

"Stop talking." Carver demanded, moving his hips in time with his brother.

Garrett had half a mind to continue chattering away, but with the way the boy beneath him flexed his muscles around his manhood his sloshed mind could only register one thing at a time, and his wild need to cum won-out. Once again he increased his speed, his hand finding it hard to keep up with his hips. Lamely he cursed his lack of coordination, abandoning the endeavor and grabbing Carver's hand and guided him to take his own member in his hand.

The response from Carver was quite amusing, the younger pumping his member with enthusiasm. Nearly a minute later the warrior moaned, bucking his hips with ore vigor to meet each thrust hard and deep. Similarly he abandoned his endeavor and let his cock go, instead gripping the edges of the bed. He bit his lip, nearly drawing blood, as he tried not to scream his pleasure despite his desires to. Without warning his body reached orgasm once again, an electrifying feeling climbing down his spine as he shivered, his desire coating between them.

His spent body went limp as his brother continued to drive into him until he too came powerfully and deeply into his brother, sighing pleasurably. A smiled tugged at Carver's lips and he snaked his arms around his brother's neck, the mage succumbing to his exhaustion and laying carefully on his brother, pulling himself from his brother's entrance before cradling his brother possessively.

Morning came quickly, the mage slowly blinking away, ignoring the too-well-known throbbing of his head and instead focusing on the strange, mysterious warmth below him. Immediately he felt his throat close, his eyes snapping open completely as the dim memories of the night before flooded his mind. Quickly he got to his feet, his brother still asleep. Swallowing hard several times the mage ran a hand through his hair, looking around the room wildly before grabbing some clothes, kicking the reminders on the floor away from him like they were a disgusting insect.

He swore colorfully, dressing as quickly as he could and smoothing his hair down. The whole time he asked himself why he had done it, why his brother allowed it. A shiver ran down his spine as the thoughts rampaged through his mind. Had he raped him? He shook that away. No, from what he could gather from last night Carver solicited him. In hindsight that didn't make the situation any better.

Giving one final curse he left the room quietly, shutting the door behind him and hoping, even praying, that the mistake from last night would stay behind closed doors.

* * *

><p>I don't really like this one so much.<br>Whatever.


	7. My Brother Loves Me

My Brother Loves Me

Rated M  
>(M) HawkeCarver, implied one-sided (M) Hawke/Bethany, Sebastian/Bethany, (M) Hawke/Fenris  
>Author's Note: I know, some of you are probably like "why is this going in HERE?" well, it technically is Hawkecest! And I didn't feel like making a special, separate story for it, so here it stays. This was mostly just made to get my creativity flowing and I wanted to try a new writing style for the helluv it. I know the last paragraph switches to a different tense, but it has meaning to it. I'm also trying to get into poetry so you might see some more <em>poetic<em> pieces in here eventually.

* * *

><p>My brother loves me, I know that, but I still cannot shake the nagging feeling he would have preferred Carver to live instead of me. It was a nagging feeling that nestled in my mind the moment the ogre killed my twin, but I hadn't become aware of it until we hit Kirkwall. We used to be very close—my older brother and I. He always understood how I felt about my magic, and he always would tell me in his gentle voice that I wasn't normal, but to be normal was boring, that I was special—but it wasn't my magical prowess that made me special, it was my ability to empathize. He was always very gentle with me, even when I don't think I deserved it.<p>

My brother loves me, I know that, but _he_ always had something special, something my older brother never vocalized; however I saw it in his eyes, the way he would act with Carver and treat him as something much more than a fragile doll. He treated Carver differently from me, from mother, even from father, and I didn't understand why until we made a life at Kirkwall. He flirts with Isabela, and Anders, and Fenris, and Merrill, and Sebastian when he could, though he never got a sparkle in his eyes. It seems more of a courtesy—in a way most would ask about how the other's day went—as opposed to show any real interest. Still most of the group ate the comments up like candy, even if they act like they couldn't care less like Fenris usually did. Why shouldn't they? My big brother is a very good-looking man, and while not everyone can agree with all his decisions they respect him. I respect him, too.

I love my brother, he knows it too, but he also knows that _I _know his little secret. He grows closer to the group, and pulls away from me. Does he worry I'll judge? Maybe he does. He grows closer to Fenris too; purposely will he chose things that Fenris will hate, just to see the fire in the elf's eye. The same type of fire my twin would often get when my brothers would argue about one thing or another. Even when Carver was wrong—and knew he was wrong—he would fight. To prove a point? No, I am too smart for that now. I know the real reasons, but I don't tell mother, or Sebastian, who I had taken a liking to, or Merrill, Fenris, Varric, Isabela, Anders, Aveline, or even myself. I know, and a little voice in my head refuses to let me ignore it, but I don't want to know. He doesn't want me to know. Carver, if he was alive, wouldn't want me to know either.

I love my brother, and he knows it too, but he knows that _I_ understand his and Carver's little secret. My big brother leaves me behind with an increasing frequency; I don't blame him, I don't confront him, I know he doesn't trust me to keep my mouth shut. I don't trust myself either, not around mother. It is torturing me slowly—like a slow-reacting poison eating me alive from the inside. I don't tell my brother I know, he already knows, and his way of dealing with the problem is ignoring the problem. It isn't how he normally deals with such things, but for just this once I can agree with his course of action to ignore the problem. Bringing it up would only make it real, and neither of us want that.

My brother loves me; I know that, so when he went to the Deep Roads without me I didn't argue too much. It was for both our own well-being. As he set off with Varric, Anders, and Isabela I simply waved. Fenris seemed a bit annoyed to see Anders walk away with my big brother, but I didn't comfort him. I would have given too much away if I had, but I gave away too much anyways. Instead, that night, I went to the tavern with Sebastian and talked with him. The more I drank the looser my lips became, the more I let him know. I shouldn't have, yet with each sip the freer I felt—both physically and emotionally. Sebastian shifted close to me and rested his arms around my waist and I just continued to yammer. I felt safe, safer than I had ever felt in my life when I was with him. I told him all that I know—how my big brother really had wished it was me who had died at the hands of the darkspawn and not his precious Carver. I was angrier about that than I thought I was; I know this because I spat out my twin's name like it was bitter on my tongue. It _was_ bitter on my tongue. I loved Carver, too! But Garrett had a special place in my heart, one that was too sinful to speak, but I did anyways—I said it to Sebastian. His breath was on my ear, hot and steamy. I turned my head and kissed him. He let my lips rest on his for a moment before he pulls away from me completely. He leaves and I sit at the bar for hours more before I take my own leave, stumbling home. The following morning he comes and visits me, promises he will never breathe a word of my confession to anyone. I believe him because of who he is—he never lies. He surprises me with a kiss, followed by a rushed apology and another quick exit. I know Sebastian feels something for me, but he can't bare it. He believes he will never live up to my brother. Heart-breaking I run to my mother, tears on my face, and tell her that I am going to go to the Circle of Magi. Locking myself away from my brother, Sebastian, Aveline, Isabela, Anders, Varric, _all of them_ was the only way to protect them from the harsh truths of our family. My big brother and Sebastian are strong enough to keep face with them, but I am not. I fear for my brother, and I fear myself.

My brother loves me, I know that, if he didn't he wouldn't be trying to talk to me from inside my gilded cage. Inside the Circle I am both free and contained. The other mages know of my big brother, some even whisper of his deeds for all mage kind, but none _know_ him. None know Carver either, and none will ever have to know my affections for him—this is a good thing. Finally my brother gives up, but not for lack of trying. Meredith sends him away with a warning and for that I am grateful. I can continue my life both protected and protective—none will know my secrets and none will know my brothers'. The way things should be?

I love my sister, and I _thought_ my sister loved me, I _thought_ she understood; we used to be so close, but once she found out me, my secrets, my love for our brother, she fled the first chance she got. I shouldn't blame her, but I do. My attentions are now focused solely on Kirkwall, the Qunari, and Fenris. I've taken a liking to him and his abrasive nature. He is not—he is not my brother, but he is _something _to me. He keeps me on my toes, and I am drawn to him. We agree on next to nothing; we are two men who should have been friends, but our personalities got in the way. We are also two men who shouldn't have loved one another, but fate had a better idea. He fights me on everything, he gives me morals where I would otherwise have none; I fight him on everything, I give him morals where he would otherwise have none. We are two sides of the same coin, we bring balance to one another—how my brother had brought balance to me. Sometimes I can't help but feel as though I use Fenris for my own gain, but in moments where we're alone—quiet or talking in an intimate hold on his bed—I feel as though I _belong_ with him. Faintly I remember feeling the same with Carver—safely stowed away in our bedroom, wrapped in each other's arms as I whispered grand stories of epic adventurers. Oftentimes I would find myself falling into the same routine with Fenris. He always listened to the stories with great interest, even if I had told them before. I think less of my sister, I think less of Carver. I take note that Sebastian misses the presence of my little sister, but that is his problem now. I love my sister, but there are some things you love more than kin; there are some kin you love more than you should. I have learned both.


End file.
